Day 92/365: 10 Things I Hate About You

1. I hate how you always seems to bring out a smile in me when all I wanted is just to sulk and hate the world.
2. I hate the way you reminded me of Sunday afternoons, walk in the beach, and the thought of happy ever after.
3. I hate how you always say that everyday is a chance to get better, an opportunity to be happy and that I should seize the moment, otherwise it’s going to leave me in the sidewalks again.
4. I hate the way you encourage me to speak out my mind because you said that I have bright ideas and that I shouldn’t be scared to make mistakes because it happens to everyone.
5. I hate the fact that unconsciously, you were the reason why I decided to quit smoking.
6. I hate you for singing those songs, out of tune, and then I ended up humming it to myself.
7. I hate how you always seems to know what to say to make me feel better whenever I feel crappy.
8. I hate you for making me miss you everyday.
9. I hate you for making me feel bad because I hurt you and for wanting to say sorry.
10. I hate how I hate you and still want to feel your presence in my life…always.

Day 91/365: A Little Push

If you ever feel in life that all doors are closed, remember these words:

A closed door is not always locked, so give it a push at least.

Looking Forward

Hello!

It’s been 4 months and yet again, I failed to continue my Project 365 again this year. 

Anyway, now that I got the chance to download the WP application, I’ll have more chance to blog again. No promises this time, but I’ll do my best to write as often as I can.

19 more days to go and it’s Christmas!

24 more days to go and we will be officially saying hello to 2012! 

I’ll be staying here in Manila for Christmas but will be flying home for New Year. As always.

Other things to look forward this month:

1. Peak Weeks aka Toxic Weeks at the fishbowl.
2. Parties!
3. Simbang Gabi. I’m planning to keep the 9 day novena this year. I’ll be praying for a very special gift. 
4. Family reunion on the 30th! Everyone’s excited from my mother side of the clan. Cousins are going home & it’s going to be a blast!
5. New Year. 2011 has been good to me but I think I’m ready to move on to a new year.

So, here’s to a frenzy, busy, expensive, but blessed month!

Oh. By the way, I’m crushing this planner I saw online. I’m trading in my Belle de Jour for this quirky and funky journal for next year. I just realized I’m not that much of a BDJ type of girl after all!

Day 90/365: Here and There…

I’ve missed a total of 106 days in my daily post goal here. That’s a lot! I guess, I over-committed again when I said that I can post every day of this year. I’m not sure now if I can still finish a total of 365 posts this year but I’ll do my best to catch up.

Anyway, I haven’t really got the chance to write a post-birthday entry this year. Now is a good time because I need something to distract me. I need something to take my mind off on something that brought fear in my heart in the last 2 days.

Hello, world. I’m finally 30.

I sometimes cannot believe that I’m over my “twenties” already. It feels surreal. I feel old but I wish I’m young. A dilemma that nothing could cure except acceptance.

Acceptance that we’re getting old and a lot of things are different and some things are gone. If there’s one thing that I’m thankful of about getting old is the fact that I’ve gotten wiser. Yes, I believe that with all the changes that happened in my life for the past years, I’ve learned how to cope and accept the only finite thing in this world — change.

I’ve learned that happiness is a state of mind. I’ve learned that there are only really a few people in this world that you can trust. I’ve learned that your heart is going to get broken no matter how hard you try to protect it. I’ve learned that money is essential but it cannot buy you the things that you needed and wanted most. I’ve learned that in this world, you are nothing but only a speck of the miracle that He created.

The list goes on and on and every day, with every interaction, every knowledge, experience that I gain, I am learning something. It’s up to you how you are going to use these lessons learned and how you are going to make use of it to become a better person.

Nevertheless, for the past 196 days since the year started, it has really been fun. A few bumps here and there but all in all fun. I think I’ve even cried less this year compared to last year (crossing my fingers). I had less disappointments, and less heartache.

I still have 5 months to go before this year is over. Who knows, maybe by January 1, 2012, things are going to be different. All I can do right now is hope, pray and wish that if things are going to change, it would be for the better.

I still live by this mantra:”Count your blessings every day”.

Thank you for continuously sharing my world with me.

 

Day 89/365: Hanging

Day 88/365: You Make Me Smile

This was taken last Saturday during our team builder. I’m glad that the smile is back on my face again.

Life goes on…

Day 87/365: He’s Just Not That Into You

This movie made me think about some things that happened and it actually gave me the much needed confirmation that I have to let go and move forward:

Gigi said this:

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending.

Every movie we see, every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs.

How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.

And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up HOPE.